Treemagedon

Put another reason down on the list of reasons I love college football. The incident in Auburn has everyone in SEC country talking about two oak trees. Die hard University of Alabama fan, and father of daughter Crimson and son Bear, Harvey Almorn Updyke called the Paul Finebaum radio show yesterday of the news that he had poisoned two 130 year old oak trees on Toomer's corner in Auburn, Alabama. University officials say there is a slim chance the trees will survive the poisoning. The trees received more than 60 times the lethal dose of poison from Updyke after Alabama's loss in the 2010 Iron Bowl.

Everything about this story is why I love college football and the South's obsession with it.

- Updyke was still mad from 1983, when Auburn students rolled the two trees in celebration of legendary coach, and Arkansas native, Paul "Bear" Bryant's death. He also made mention of Auburn fans "salting" the score of this years Iron Bowl into the grass of Alabama's campus.

- Updyke broke the news on the Paul Finebaum radio show, a show which is followed by every true football fan in Alabama on a daily basis. He was so mad about a previous Auburn fans call he had to break the news even if his number would be easily tracked.

- The waiting game being played. There is no telling the amount of time and financial resources (bet they wish they had an extra $350K now) that have and will be spent to see if the trees will live, but in the eyes of Auburn fans it is worth it if the oaks live.

- Everyone outside of Auburn in the South is laughing at the prank. Of course Auburn fans are perturbed by the incident, but other fans can't believe it was not done earlier. But it becomes personal when you ask how a Georgia fan would feel if their Arches were torn down or if Ole Miss's sacred Grove was destroyed.

- If the trees are not saved the only way to get it back to how it was is to wait 130 years. There is no quick fix, and Updyke has essentially ruined one of Auburn's proudest traditions.

- Updyke may or may not be safer in jail. His best bet, if he values his life is to go far far away, completely change his identity when he gets out of jail. While in jail, he will immediately need a transfer before some Auburn fan with a life sentence beats the rammer jammer out of him with a bar of soap in a sock.

I hope the rest of the country is taking note. This is worse than the Steve Barman incident at Wrigley. Down here we live for football, especially of the college variety, and loyalty to your team is something you are taught at a very young age. Treemagedon is just a glimpse to the rest of the nation of how serious Saturdays in the fall are to this part of the country.